


Crashing Down

by o_dominic_o



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Gay, I'm crying, M/M, SnowBaz, my children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 10:06:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14746796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o_dominic_o/pseuds/o_dominic_o
Summary: Baz stopped aging once he hit 30, but Simon didn't.





	Crashing Down

My hands went from tapping on the desk, to playing with my hair, to flattening my shirt in a matter of moments. I didn't know what to do. They finally ended up at the chest, gripping each other tightly. The woman behind the desk was moving agonizingly slow. Her cotton candy grey hair was twisted in a bun, and her dull eyes scanned the screen lifelessly. "And you are?" she asked, reaching what she needed to.  
"Baz Pitch. Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch." My voice was harsh and fast, just wanting to get this done. Her fingers began to move and I almost pushed her aside to get to the computer myself. I cursed my long name. As she typed out my name, I realized why I hated hospitals so much. They reminded me of the nursery, when I was young. So many helpless lives, coming and going. I just hoped I could stop one.  
"And you're his... Husband?" she asked, confused and skeptical.  
"Yes, please just let me see him," I pleaded, now hanging onto the desk. I just wanted to see him. Her eyes scanned the page one last time before she handed me a visitors pass. I took it from her hand and raced down the halls, to room 208. There was a small whiteboard on the door, and I saw his name printed in my handwriting. Simon Snow. I don't know why other's hadn't written it in. But it didn't matter. I opened the door slowly, and saw him on the bed, sleeping soundly. He always did. He would sleep for days if you let him. It took only moments for me to be at his side, and even less for my fingers to be in his hair, brushing the, what used to be bronze, curls out of his face. They were now grey, but they still shone in the light. I planted a kiss on his forehead and opened the blinds, letting the sunlight reach his face. Even dusted with wrinkles, his face still shone like the sun. And even in old age, he was still the most handsome thing I had ever seen. It only took a few moments, though, before he awoke. As the years ticked on, he got more and more used to me waking him up with the sun. "Good morning sunshine," I cooed, rushing back to his bedside.  
"Morning." His voice was like sandpaper, rough and scratchy. "God, I hate this place," Simon muttered, reaching for a glass of water at his side. He strained to reach it, so I grabbed it for him.  
"You can just live with one word. It would only hurt for a minute, then we could be together forever." He laughed, but tears snagged at his eyes. Yet he still answered the same.  
"No, I will die like the rest, and you can love again." It stung every time he suggested I find someone else after him, like he was telling me to cheat. But it wouldn't be cheating if he was dead. "But today feels promising. Like I might be able to get out of here for a bit." Simon smiled, giving a grin that still had many of his teeth.  
"Great! Maybe we can go and see-" I stopped, pausing in my tracks, realizing what I had almost said. His frown faded, and he looked down, wiping a tear away. "I'm so sorry. I am, really. I just- it's been... I'm sorry." Simon sighed before shaking it off. 3 and a half weeks ago, Penny had died. No one thought she or any of the Bunce's would go without a fight, but she was taken in her sleep. Simon couldn't even attend her funeral, so I went for him. I cursed myself and Penny alike, for forgetting. Just as I was going to suggest something else, there was a spike in the heart rate monitor. "Simon?"  
"Oh, it does that some times," he said, nonchalantly. "A nurse'll come in and make sure I'm not dead, and then leave me be. I'll be-" Another spike cut him off. "Fine." His voice was now strained, and he struggled to stay upright.  
"Nurse! Nurse!" I yelled, now getting to my feet. I didn't want to leave his side, but I couldn't let him die. "Nurse!!" A woman barreled in, and looked to me and Simon. "His heart rate is spiking," I sputtered, now moving to the other side. I grasped onto his hand, and felt his pulse in time with the monitor. It was beginning to spike more and more, speeding up. "God damn it Simon!" I yelled, tears beginning to leak out of me, hitting his covers. His face was twisted in pain, and his grip was deadly.  
"Sir, unless you are directly related to this man, or his spouse, you have to leave," the nurse said, gesturing towards the door.  
"I'm his husband, I'm staying." It came out fast and sharp. I didn't care what this woman thought, I was technically older than her. I should be 89, just like Simon. But I was stuck in this cursed body, handsome and young, causing Simon to always feel jealous. But he would never let me turn him. She looked ready to protest, when there was a larger spike, only this time, it didn't go back down. Doctors began to flood the room, but I wasn't moving his side. His face was turned to me, and I was clutching his hands, pressing my fingers into his.  
"Sir you have to leave! Only direct relatives or spouses can be here!" The nurse yelled.  
"He is my hu-husband," Simon weakly murmured, just loud enough for the nearest doctor to hear. I held him closer. I didn't know what they were doing to him, but they were all trying to keep him alive. He couldn't go. He couldn't go. He couldn't go. His hands were now starting to loose their grip, and his eyes opened up. He smiled. He's living! I smiled, pressing my head close to his. He moved forward as well, and kissed me. It still caused my head to explode every time he kissed me. I was deaf to everything else in the world but him. "I love you, Baz Pitch." His mouth moved slow, but it was all I could see.  
"I love you, Simon Snow." But as soon as the words escaped my lips, his hands fell, and everything came into view. The beeping had stopped. His hands were limp. No. No. No. His eyes were still open, smiling. No. I heard every doctor shuffle around me, 'I'm so sorry''s falling out of their lips. "NO!" I cried, dropping to the floor. His hand was cold. I bit it softly, not caring who saw. He didn't respond. "SIMON!" I sobbed, pressing my head into the bed. No. No. No. He isn't dead. This is a joke. No no no no no. "Simon..." I whispered. No. Someone touched my shoulder and I whipped my head around, blazing my teeth. They immediately backed off, and let me be. More 'I'm sorry''s fell and I threw them back at them. Simon isn't dead. This is a joke. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. I felt a twitch "Simon?!" Just the wind. I bit his neck, drawing still warm blood, and then spat it on the ground. "Wake up!" He lay there, smiling. "SIMON WAKE UP!!" His eyes still shone, even after they glazed over. Everything was blurry, and his blood mixed with my tears on the ground. I fell onto his body, trying to get him to get him to get up. Someone came back in and grabbed my arm, trying to take me out. "NO!" I screamed. I'm not leaving him alone. No. The said something and tried again. "NO!" But more people came, and yanked me away from him. My knuckles were white. I went to punch or bite or kill on the the doctors holding me but they held me back before I could. More words bounced off my ears. After minutes of struggling, they managed to get me into a room. Simon wasn't here. Simon won't ever be here. Simon. Is. Dead. 

You were the sun, and I was crashing into you, but now without you, I'm just crashing down.

**Author's Note:**

> hi so i'm new here. i thought of this at 9 am and cried.


End file.
